Week 13 Picks

I thought I would delight my fan(s), by putting out my NFL picks in column format, instead of the informal, impersonal Twitter way I had been previously using. I am putting the winning team in caps.

NEW ORLEANS v. Cincinnati

There is no way Cincy has a chance in this game. In fact, there is a chance that Cincy has no chance in a majority of games. They are really, really bad. The only bright spot for them this year, to my infuriation, has been Terrell Owens being 4th in the NFL with 914 receiving yards. These stats are more inflated then Germany in the 1930’s. Due to a lot of garbage time and incessant tipped passes, anyone could have put up these numbers.

CHICAGO v. Detroit

Seriously? Is Chicago really going to be 9-3 after this week? How lucky are the Bears, who week after week get to beat up on quarterbacks like Drew Stanton. Gah!

San Francisco v. GREEN BAY

San Fran lost its offense on Monday night when they lost running back Frank Gore. Now, a guy with no brain matter left, Brian Westbrook, is running the ball. I think I know what to choose.

JACKSONVILLE v. Tennessee

Whether Kerry Collins starts or not, Tennessee cannot win here. Chris Johnson does not look the same, and the legs have really been ripped out of their season. Me? I just want more Rusty Smith. Nothing is better than that!

For some reason, I picked Tennessee to win last week. This obviously was a mistake. Right? Right? Right!

Denver v. KANSAS CITY

If KC actually decides to use the NFL’s second leading rusher, Jamaal Charles, this is a no-brainer. He has only 161 carries this year. That is an average of 15 a game! He is one of the most explosive players in the NFL, and is sometimes forgotten about on the KC sidelines. Time to grow a pair, Todd Haley. Ball is in your court. And Charles is on my fantasy team, so that would help.

CLEVELAND v. Miami

Miami never wins at home, and Cleveland can do damage. Although I am worried that they barely beat the Panthers last week. Miami looks dead, offensively, and no one beats up dead things better than the Browns? (Can I say that?)

Buffalo v. MINNESOTA

Combined with the fact that Buffalo sucks, Minnesota at least looks inspired underneath new head coach Leslie Frazier. Whereas under Brad Childress, it looks like they tried to lose on purpose.

Washington v. NEW YORK GIANTS

The Redskins are a team that is confused. They will lose on week by 40, another week they’ll win by 40. The Giants are extremely banged up, but were able to squeak out a close win versus the Jags last week. It’ll be an ugly one.

Oakland v. SAN DIEGO

Chargers are on fire. Enough said.

ATLANTA v. Tampa Bay

I think it’ll be close, and it will prove if either Atlanta deserves to be a number one seeded team, or if Tampa Bay is for real. Tampa hung in with Baltimore last week, but congratulations, you still didn’t win. There are no moral victories in the National Football League.

Carolina v. SEATTLE

Seattle is at home, and they never lose at home. Especially when playing 1-10 teams.

ST. LOUIS v. Arizona

“I take this s—t seriously, all right?!”. No, you don’t Derek. You just flat out suck and laughing about how awful you are on the sidelines doesn’t help. Good luck.

Dallas v. INDIANAPOLIS

This could be close, but Manning will likely be furious after a few poorly played weeks in a row.

PITTSBURGH v. Baltimore

Obviously.

New York Jets v. NEW ENGLAND

Eleven days off for New England? Should be no problem.

Here are my picks against the spread: http://games.espn.go.com/pigskin/en/entry?entryID=73518&message=picksSuccess

Spread (last week): 9-7. Season: 98-78

Regular (last week): 11-5. Season 100-76