Two Wrongs Should Be Able to Make a Right, Right?

Which is more insane? The Steinbrenner/Cashman camp essentially saying that Jeter is worthless to any other team, or the Jeter squad coming out today asking for 6 years at 150 million?

Any Jeter fan will say this: It’s hard to choose.

Up until now, I have always been on Jeter’s side. I was on his side (remarkably) when he dated Mariah Carey for two years. I was on his side when he thought dating a Miss Universe would end well (The math would never add up. The most high-profile athlete in the world’s largest market, dating one of the most famous and sought-after women in the world? It is hard to believe that Jeter, in all of his infinite, Jeterian wisdom, would ever think that this would work). I was on his side when in 2002, partying was all the rage in the Jeter camp (Steinbrenner obviously overreacted on this one, like he did with every minor issue that ever affected the Yankees. It was the middle of December, George, not the middle of September. Look how cool I am, talking back to a dead guy). I was even on his side when this year, Jeter pulled an A-Rod and did something frowned upon in most baseball circles, when he pretended to be hit by a pitch. This was the umps fault, because he didn’t realize that if the sound that occured when the ball hit the end of Jeter’s bat actually hit his body, Jeter would have broken every bone in his wrist.

But asking for one hundred and fifty million dollars, a year after you dropped a .270/.340/.370 split, is absurd. If this is how Jeter is really thinking, how do you think he reacted to the original offer of 3 years/$45 million? He probably thought the Yankees were literally kidding, if this is how much he thinks he is worth.

Originally, I thought the Yankees would go 3 years/$65 million, with a club option for a 4th year. Now this would obviously be overpaying Jeter by about $10-15 million a year. But this is a guy who made $19 million last year, and a paycut would not really be in the question. The Yankees should have known that they should pay Jeter decently for his contributions for the last 15 years, because if they didn’t, they would be dealing with a guy who holds some of the iciest grudges in sports. (Remember the Jeter-ARod feud? It all started because of this quote A-Rod gave to Esquire Magazine in 2001:

"He's never had to lead. He can just go and play and have fun. And he hits second—that's totally different than third and fourth in a lineup. You go into New York, you wanna stop Bernie and O'Neill. You never say, Don't let Derek beat you. He's never your concern."

Okay, that is pretty bad, and I probably would have punched A-Rod in his fat face after this. But the Yankees should know what Jeter is capable of).

If the Yankees had just treated Jeter like they always have treated everyone else, none of this never would have happened. Now, the Yankees are facing a situation similar to the one where Yogi Berra did not return to Yankee Stadium for 25 years. Good times.

******

The root problem of all this is the complete incompetence of those on the top of the New York Yankee totem pole. Everyone seems to forget, Hal/Hank Steinbrenner are their father, minus the business savvy and desire to win. What have they ever done that has been good for the franchise? Create a stadium designed for the top one percent, one that no average (real) fan can enjoy? Take the enjoyment out of the Yankees?

Then there is Brian Cashman, whose resemblance to Chicken Little is not doing him any favors when he tries to act big around Jeter. His asinine signings in the 2000’s almost brought the Yankees to the ground (Anyone who says he was under pressure from Steinbrenner is way off. Steinbrenner may have died last year, but his days of ruling all aspects of the Yankees ended at the end of the 1990’s).

Let’s analyze what the stooges have had to say regarding Jeter:

Hank Steinbrenner:

"As much as we want to keep everybody, we've already made these guys very, very rich, and I don't feel we owe anybody anything monetarily, Some of these players are wealthier than their bosses."

Well, the first part is true. Jeter is one of the most wealthy professional athletes of all time. Maybe they don’t owe him anything monetarily, they have given him a lot (I don’t feel this way, but an argument can be made in Hank’s case).

The thing that drives me nuts about this statement is the part where Hank says “Some…players are wealthier than their bosses”.

Is Hank trying to make people feel bad for him? Why is he acting like a lowly servant in this case?

Earth to Hank: Your wealthy dad gave you one of the most lucrative sports franchises in the world. Your father has given you all of your wealth and happiness. You’ve never had to work for anything in your life. Don’t act like your be jibbed by the Jeter deal. Don’t pull that card, you arrogant blowhard. What Yankee fan likes you? You have the same annoying audacity as your father, but without of the skills and determination that made Yankee fans at least respect him. I may dislike your brother who is in charge of the Yankees, but I am so thankful that he was born so you would not run the Yankees into the ground (I said this when I was “What are you thankful for?” at Thanksgiving)

Brian Cashman:

"We understand his contributions to the franchise and our offer has taken them into account. We've encouraged him to test the market and see if there's something he would prefer other than this. If he can, fine. That's the way it works."

No, Brian you obviously don’t understand his contributions.

(Fun Fact: At Yankee Stadium, there is a wing that describes all the famous eras in Yankee history. There is the Ruth, DiMaggio, and Mantle eras. Finally, there is the Jeter Years. You are nickle-and-diming a player who is on your teams Mount Rushmore, essentially).

Cashman, you are attempting to pay Derek only $5 million more than your ingenious response to Daisuke Matsuzaka’s arrival to the Red Sox, Kei Igawa (He is lighting up the minors, that’s for sure!). I would name the list of ridiculous and overpaid signings Cashman has graced Yankee fans with over the years, but I am afraid that my reader(s?) will be overwhelmed by the onslaught of no-names.

Cashman is essentially telling Jeter “See if any other team wants a washed-up shortstop with no range, and we will see you in a month when you come crawling back to us”. Really? You are telling the captain of your team that he sucks, quite frankly.

Cashman has been saved for years by the fact that he has an enormous payroll and can get guys like Sabathia and Teixeira, really without trying. Put him in a smaller market, I guarantee you he would fail miserably. He pretends that he is into the sabermetric-rage that dominates most GM’s today, but his signings of injury-prone Nick Johnson (Twice!) and good-only-if-he-is-in-the-NL Javy Vazquez (Twice!) definitely beg to differ.

Why does he suddenly care about money? Him and Steinbrenner? Are the Yankees suddenly on a budget? What? Saying that they won’t pay Jeter an extra $20-25 million is ridiculous. I am a diehard Yankee fan, and I know that they hold an rigged advantage over the other teams with the absurd amount of money that they produce. They are playing the role of small-market team with their most famous player since Mickey Mantle? Who are they kidding?

******

After saying all that about Steinbrenner(s) and Cashman, I still do not like Jeter’s latest offer. Both sides need to realize that their offers are too extreme, whether it is too little or too big.

The Yankees owe it to Jeter to overpay him. Jeter owes it to the Yankees to not ask for a ridiculous amount of money. Both sides need to give in to each other, whether they like it or not.

But maybe, perhaps as Bill Madden of the New York Daily News said, the Yankees were so shocked and appalled by Jeter’s insane asking price, they were almost forced to give these statements. Jeter is not worth that anymore, and he is going to have to realize this. That could be the purpose of Cashman’s and Steinbrenner’s seemingly ridiculous statements.

But both sides of done wrong. Even if Steinbrenner and Cashman’s original attempts were to do good, they have embarrassed the face of the franchise. Jeter is making a fool of himself by asking for an astronomical amount a year after the worst season of his career.

My thought: 3 years, $65 million, 4th year option. Not everyone will be happy, but no one will walk away furious.

And don’t offer Javy Vazquez arbitration.

For the love of God, don’t do that.

Brendan O’Hare writes the Attic Fan column for www.theatticfan.blogspot.com and on Yardbarker.com. You can contact him at bohare7@yahoo.com, or on twitter (@theatticfan). Feel free to leave comments about this post. His NFL Picks for Sunday will be up tomorrow afternoon on Twitter

If LeBron James Wins “Person of the Year”, I am Moving to Canada

I have seen a lot of absurd things in the media in my time. I have seen the rise of reality TV. I have seen people care about the private lives of celebrities on an obsessive level. I have seen complete wastes of life become famous (See: Sheen, Charlie).

But LeBron James being nominated for TIME Person of the Year really grinds my gears.

(Question: When did TIME begin calling the award “Person” instead of man?

Answer: 1999.

That seems about 30 years too late. The award was made in 1927. Don’t you think the women’s rights movements of the 1960’s would/should have done something about this?)

I know what you are thinking: Who cares? It is just a dumb, imaginary award where people win nothing for winning. The problem is, LeBron would somehow twist this award (if he won it) in his egomanical, convoluted way he does with everything else (Yeah LeBron, the reason America hates you is because of race. Maybe you’re just a jackass, and this is not 1939?). LeBron says that he should be “nowhere near that list”.

Well obviously not, thanks for clarifying that. I have been alive long enough to know that whenever anybody says anything along those lines, it is usually a sign of fake humility. He cares about this nomination, and probably believes that he should have been nominated for the award a long time ago. Now, there are a few people that he is “better” (better meaning a better overall human being) than, but I will get into that in a minute.

I know that TIME gives this award out on the basis that whoever made the biggest impact on the world in the year will win. Hell, Adolf Hitler won in 1938, and Joseph Stalin was a two-time winner. LeBron is not worse than those awful, awful people. I am not even going to make the idiotic joke “At least not yet, anyway”, because that is making too big a deal out of LeBron’s “decision”. TIME Magazine is already doing that for me, so I do not need to.

Let’s see who else was nominated, and if LeBron has contributed more to society.

Note: If you have any comments or complaints or questions about this article, or really anything, email me at bohare7@yahoo.com. You can also use the link in the top right corner called “Contact the Attic Fan”, where you can directly send an email from this site. I want some feedback on this rare, politically charged article. Boom!

Julian Assange- Founder of the “Wikileaks” website, which is considering one of the leading muckrackers in online journalism. Looks like Eliot Spitzer. Is currently in exile in Europe because he feels that he is being watched. Paranoia gets you nowhere, Mr. Assange, just ask Howard Hughes. ADVANTAGE: LeBron

Glenn Beck- Please go away. PLEASE! ADVANTAGE: LeBron

Wow. LeBron is up 2-0 already, although facing Beck was like beating the Pittsburgh Pirates. Assange v. James was definitely a lot closer.

David Cameron- Britain’s version of President, also known as their “Prime Minister” ADVANTAGE: Society

The Chilean Miners- Honestly? This is a blowout. Although I am not sure what the miners did exactly to positively impact society. I mean, they were trapped in a mine for 2 months, they did not cure cancer. ADVANTAGE: Society

Arne Duncan- Secretary of Education. His push for educational reform will become obsolete with a Republican controlled Congress. But hey, at least he tried. ADVANTAGE: Push

Recep Tayyip Erdogan: Fun fact, Turkey has a Prime Minster. Unfun fact, he has a dumb moustache. Not sure that it is good that 300,000 people protested his election in 2007, in fear that he would change Turkey’s secular being. Considered an international funnyman after walking out of the 2009 Economic Forum, vowing never to return. Classic! ADVANTAGE: LeBron

Jonathan Franzen: Fought with Oprah, which is also good in my book. Saying anti-American things like “America is in a rogue state” is not. That actually might be good, I just don’t know what rogue means. Writes boring books. ADVANTAGE: LeBron

Lady GaGa: Puts out dope pop songs. Although she is a blatant copy of Madonna, she makes me remember her songs, which is more than Aerodragon does. (That’s his name right? Is it good that one of spell checks options is “Arrogant”? I am sure the Turkish people think so.) ADVANTAGE: Society

Robert Gates: Secretary of Defense, badass. My dad thinks he is cool. ADVANTAGE: Society

Tony Hayward: BP’s former CEO, probably one of the American public’s most hated authority figures. Receives most of the heat for something he did not directly cause, and actually attempted to clean up the area, which is more than the last person who was in charge of cleaning up a natural disaster in the Gulf did. But it is not good when your opening line in your mini-biography on TIME’s P.O.Y. website is “One of the most reviled people of 2010”. ADVANTAGE: LeBron

Hu Jintao: Leader of the People’s Republic of China, which means he will probably be world leader in 10 years. In risk of being censored by the Chinese government and breaking the heart of my Chinese following, I have to say good things about him. Except the fact that he is an unabashed communist/marxist (Which means he hates America. If the 1950’s taught us anything, it’s that communists are bad. And cigarettes are good. Okay ignore, that last one). Also good job with human rights. Oh, he didn’t clean it up? Never mind then. ADVANTAGE: Society

Steve Jobs: Apple CEO. You know what I hate? Every time I turn on Yahoo, the first “news” I see is something about a competitor to an Apple product. This is all horsedung. If you believe these reports, you are an idiot. When has a product beat Apple in the past 10 years? Every 6 months, there is a new competitor to the iPod or the iPhone or the iPad. Well, they were all pretty crappy opponents. Remember the Zune, also known as the Death of the iPod? You don’t? Hm. ADVANTAGE: Society

Hamid Karzai: President of Afghanistan, which may be one of the worst jobs on Earth. I give him all the credit in the world, except for getting financial aid from FREAKING IRAN. That is a sin in my book. LeBron may be scum to the sports world, but at least he isn’t receiving benefits from Iran. ADVANTAGE: LeBron

David & Nathan Koch: Oil giants. Helped make the Tea Party into a phenomenon instead of the insignificant party it should have been. Without these two geniuses, the Tea Party would probably have had as much relevance as me. Damn you, Kochs. ADVANTAGE: LeBron

Liu Xiaobo: Chinese democracy activist, winner of the Nobel Peace Prize. Is somehow a “criminal” in the world’s largest country, even though his crimes include “Inciting subversion of state power”. Oh no! Not free will! ADVANTAGE: Society

Barack Obama: Obviously better than LeBron. For those who think he has done a crappy job, shut up. I “voted” for McCain, but I give credit to Obama for attempting to make things (Healthcare, Afghanistan) happen. If it wasn’t for an over-the-hill Congress, he probably would be succeeding. I actually feel bad for the guy. He is turning into the Presidential version of Ralph Sampson. ADVANTAGE: Society (You thought I was going to go against the President of the United States? Who am I, Hu Jintao?)

Sarah Palin: ADVANTAGE: LeBron (Shutout)

Nancy Pelosi: Last year as Speaker of the House, and I have to give her credit for passing the Healthcare Bill somehow. Although I never think I will ever see any portion of that bill, it is still cool. ADVANTAGE: Society

Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf: I am not about to go on some racist tangent about this guy. Let me give my reader the background info on him. In case you do not know who he is, he is the “person” who wanted to build a mosque in the vicinity of Ground Zero.

It just is not right. It is not sensitive and it shows no tolerance for the victims of 9/11. If you had told me a year after 9/11 that Muslims were going to build a mosque near Ground Zero, I probably would have launched a one-man attack. Now that I am more mature, I know that is not the answer (Especially since I would need more people). I have nothing against the Islamic faith. But I do have something against people who do not respect other’s hardships. How do people expect for tolerance when they do not give it out themselves. ADVANTAGE: LeBron

Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert: Although it is weird that TIME won’t give these two a separate vote, I like both. Way more than LeBron ADVANTAGE: Society

The Unemployed American: Not to be insensitive (See last paragraph), but how is this group contributing more to society than LeBron James is? We’ve established that this is what the award is about. For more, read this section from Adam Carolla’s most recent book. ADVANTAGE: LeBron

J. Craig Venter: Jesus, who are these people? We have to be getting near the end, right? He’s like a mad scientist, I think. If movies have tought us anything, it is that these people should be avoided. ADVANTAGE: LeBron

Mark Zuckerburg: Founder of Facebook, had a movie based off of his socially-challenged life, which is essentially the worst thing to happen to anyone who is awkward in public. With Facebook slowly controlling human life, I have to give the edge to the founder. ADVANTAGE: Society

Elizabeth Warren, Mary Schapiro and Shelia Bair: Attempting to keep Wall Street in check, which is nice. But if these three were men, they would not be on the list. Blatant sexism by TIME does not help, but they needed these 3 due to the fact that 3 of previous 24 nominees were female. Better late that never. ADVANTAGE: Society

FINAL SCORE: 12-12-1

Okay, LeBron was helped out by the fact that people like Glenn Beck and Sarah Palin were on the ballot, and crappy mega-categories like “The Unemployed Worker” were listed. The only people LeBron beat were those who are insensitive, like Iran, and do not like democracy, which is not all that impressive.

If I had a vote, I would vote for either Liu Xiaobo or President Obama. But when Glenn Beck wins, please promise me this. Rip every form of printed media you see. Do it for the Attic Fan.

*****

If politics bored you, here are my NFL picks for this week:

BAL v. Car, Buf v. CIN, Det v. DAL, CLE v. Jac, Ari v. KC, GB v. Min, Hou v. NYJ, Oak v. PIT, Was v. TEN, Sea v. NO, TB v. Sf, ATL v. Stl, Ind v. NE, Nyg v. PHI, Den v. SD

Season: 77-67 (5-9 last week)

I’ll have my Pigskin Pick Em Picks out tomorrow on my twitter, @theatticfan.

Crowd Control

Watching sports with a crowd can be tough. They can be loud, obnoxious, drunk, belligerent, mentally unstable, schizophrenic, and combustible. I am almost positive I have watched a game with people who have the exact same qualities as I just mentioned (legally, I am not able to talk about a person I may/may not have seen explode at a Nets game in the upper deck). I have no real set of “crowd rules” for the people around me, all I ask is that they:

1) Aren’t yelling in my ear. By all means, be loud, but be an adult.

2) Tell your brat kid to stop kicking my freaking chair. There are few things more annoying in the world, then some 8-year-old kid with ADHD spazzing out beyond you, and having Rockette practice on the back of your chair. When I was 8, I watched the game. I was not going into convulsions because I had not played Call of Duty for 2 hours. Control your kid.

3) Don’t be tall and sit in front of me. Also, cut the afro.

4) No signs, but I guess that goes along with Number 3.

5) If you are drunk, that is okay. Just stop asking me to sing Cotton Eyed Joe with you.

6) If you are above the age of 12 and wearing a baseball glove, I will punch you in the head.

That is really about it. Why I bring up crowds, is because watching sports with family is way tougher. This Monday night, I watched the Steelers versus Bengals game with them. Let me introduce to you the cast of characters:

Mom

Dad

Liam (Brother)

Danny (Brother)

Me

Micaelie (Sister, on computer the whole time, no speaking lines)

Liam and Danny are both in middle school, my dad says whatever comes into his head, and my mom was trying to read one of those Steig Larsson novels, so you get what I am dealing with, right? I am going to give some quotes from what went on during the game:

Pregame:

On Mike Tirico:

Dad: He’s not italian.

Liam: He’s blinking too much.

Dad: Damn it, Liam! Now I am obsessing over that.

Me: It is hard to take Tirico seriously.

On Pregame Ceremonies:

Dad: Are they shooting people on the field. (Apparently, one cannon blast constitutes a Massacre in Cincinnati)

On Ron Jaworski:

Dad: No former player should have glasses like that.

On Geography:

Mom: Where are the Bengals from?

On Time Management:

Dad: They keep saying it is supposed to come on next!

Dan: What time is it supposed to start?

Liam: No habla espanol. (He really said this, I still have no idea why).

Game:

On Numbers:

Dad: How could they give number 88 to someone else. (Number 88 for the Steelers just caused a fumble, but that was not good enough for my dad, a Steelers purist).

On Defense:

Mom: He ran right into him, like he wasn’t afraid.

Me: Good insight, mom.

On Serious Injuries:

Dad: He shouldn’t have ran into him like that, he could have gotten seriously hurt.

Liam: Yeah, he could have gotten back spasms.

On Animal Defecation:

Dad: Have you ever seen squirrel poop?

Liam: Maybe they don’t poop.

Dan: They hide it!

Micaelie: They explode. (Okay, she does have one line)

On Famous Explorers/Centers

Dad: Why did Ponce do that?

Me: Who’s Ponce? Ponce de Leon? It’s Pouncey. (Maurkice Pouncey, Steelers Center)

Mom: Who’s Pouncey?

Dan: What a doofus! (Doofus is the fourth most common word in my family).

On Music

Liam: Special teams are like, rocking!

Dad: Is his name really T-Pain?

Postgame:

All: Zzzzzz

After everyone falling asleep by 9:30, there were no more quotes.

*******

Sorry for the lack of columns this week, but expect more next week. And better ones than 650 word posts on random quotes.

Check out my NFL picks on my Twitter Feed: www.twitter.com/theatticfan

2010 New York Yankees End-of-Season/Offseason Report

The 2010 Yankees season was kind of monotonic, to say the least. The Yankees did not have that one game during the season that could be described as a “momentum” boost or a “big” moment. They just kept winning in the first half of the season, and come August, they just played mediocre baseball and attempted to pass themselves off as a serious contender for the World Series.

After August 1st, the Yankees were 29-30, and had a run differential (Runs scored – Runs allowed) of only +25. This means that a lot of games were very close, and they were also losing a lot of close games. There were no real blowouts that a World Series contender should have, blowouts that assert their dominance in the American League. After almost falling down the stretch to the Boston Red Sox, a collapse that would have entitled me to go on a multi-state rampage, the Yankees “wrapped” up a Wild Card title.

It annoys me when teams celebrate after winning the Wild Card. Especially the Yankees. I know, they got to the playoffs which is important and all, but celebrating the Wild Card is like celebrating being in 2nd place. Come on. Celebrating after you have actually won something (I don’t even like teams celebrating after the Division Series, but that is something for another time).

I kind of realized that this season was not going to end well after the Yankees celebrated their Wild Card win ferociously. Not to sound sentimental, but I highly doubt Steinbrenner would have allowed something like that to happen. I do not event think he liked celebrations after the World Series, because it interrupted offseason training.

Before I get to the offseason strategy, let me talk about the regular season/playoffs, and how all the individual players did.

Francisco Cervelli: Francisco (That’s Fun to Say. I must have said that 412 times this year, much to the enjoyment of the people who watched the games with me. For those who have no idea what the hell I am talking about: here) had an average year filling in for the deteriorating Jorge Posada. He would get you the occasional big time hit, and also was insane. Whenever a game was over, I was afraid he was going to punch Mariano Rivera in the face, and then go into the stands looking for somebody to wrestle. Unfortunately for our boy Cisco, he will not be a starting catcher next year, due to the rise of super-rookie Jesus Montero. Also, Cisco slugged .335 last year. He also somehow had 3 triples and no home runs. For a 210 pound catcher, that has to be the weirdest thing of all time.

Mark Teixeira: Tex had has mandatory 1st half slump, before rebounding and going on a tear in August in which in felt like he hit a home run every other at bat. I even wrote (From August 4th):

Mark Teixeira is on fire. Honestly, if he hit like this during the whole season, is there any doubt that Yankees would already be at 100 wins? Okay, maybe at little, but is carrying the Yankees at this point, where everyone else is struggling.

Obviously, I was blown away. I was back to normal when Tex went 0-14 in the ALCS before injuring his hamstring, or something. If Tex were a graph, he would look like this:

If you replace the left hand side with either Tex’s ability to play baseball, or my happiness, you have a pretty good indication of how his season went.

Robinson Cano: Superhero. Has no faults. I think Tim McCarver thinks he is good, I am not sure though. Cano was the Yankees best player this year, and should see a Gold Glove/Silver Slugger combo of awards at the end of the season. He was also the only player who realized that in the playoffs, you should step your game up.

Derek Jeter: My favorite Yankee player of my generation put up a season that slowly killed me. He had a .270/.340/.370 split. This is okay for Yuniskey Betancourt, but for a future hall of famer, this should not be happening. It also pained me to see that Jeter has almost no lateral movement left in him. Obviously, he will be back for next season, and will have a mega contract to boot (I am thinking 3 years, 75 million. There is no way the Yankees pay him any less than that. He has been the face of the franchise for 15 years, if anything, he deserves to be grossly overpaid. If the Yankees can shell out money to Kei Igawa, the least they can do is give it out unnecessarily to someone who actually deserves it. I still don’t like Kei Igawa, if you had not noticed.), but Jeter will need to have a much better season if he wants to be a part of the every day lineup.

On second thought, who would replace him? Ramiro Pena? Jeter has the job pretty much set for next year, but if he does not have a usual Jeterian season (I hate that word), you could see the Yankees going out into free agency/trading pool and looking for someone else to play shortstop.

Alex Rodriguez: If A-Rod plays more than 150 games and is healthy, he probably goes 40-140 with home runs and RBI’s. He reverted back to old playoff A-Rod, where he was a liability at best. How does it get to the point where a fan does not want a guy who went 30-125 this season, and has over 600 career home runs (Which happened this season, it case anyone forgot) to actually come to bat. Frustrating!

Brett Gardner: A real surprise, although his looking at about 250 pitches right down the middle this season almost caused me to go into a triple bypass. He plays good defense, is the Yankees first threat on the basepaths since we had Rickey Henderson for a few days, and is a classic white-guy gritty player. (Not a racist comment. I read this in Will Leitch’s phenomenal God Save the Fan. Quick, small white guys are usually described as gritty and hustlers, even if they cannot hit the ball out of the infield. It is an unfortunate stereotype) He is also the reason why the Yankees will not pick up Carl Crawford, but I will get to that in a bit.

Curtis Granderson: Until Yankee hitting coach Kevin Long conjured up some spirits to fix his swing, Granderson was a prototypical Yankee bust. After August, he played really well, and this even went into the playoffs. He was one of two players to play above-mediocre in the playoffs, which is good, I guess. He also plays one hell of a center field, which is important, especially after having some poor fielders out there the past few years.

He is also considered an intelligent ballplayer. I cannot answer why? Does somebody have his SAT scores? Just because a guy speaks coherently does not mean he is intelligent. I am not dissing Granderson’s ability to think clearly, but we need more background. This probably is not that important.

Nick Swisher: Infuriated me after saying “Who cares about Cliff Lee?”, then not even making contact (He may have, but it sure did not seem like he did). Like most Yankees, he had a great 1st half and a crappy second half. He needs to play better if he is the reason that the Yankees will not get Jayson Werth, but I will get to that in a moment.

Jorge Posada/Marcus Thames/Lance Berkman: The Yankees DH trio had ups and downs this season. Posada looked like a shell of himself, and God bless you if he had to actually go behind the plate and throw somebody out. Marcus Thames had a great hitting season, but God bless you if he had to actually play the field. Berkman started off awful, but rebounded into a nice addition for the Yankees down the stretch. Also was not as good as a fielder as a normal first baseman should be. I guess that is why all these guys are now DH’s.

CC Sabathia/Phil Hughes/Andy Pettitte/AJ Burnett/ Javy Vazquez: Sabathia was the only sure spot in the rotation, going 21-7 and having a possible Cy Young Award to soon be his. Phil Hughes epitomized the Yankee season, having an All-star 1st half, then crapping the bed in the 2nd half. Pettitte had a great first half, but an assortment of injuries sidelined him from most of the second half. It is my thought that if Andy plays in the 2nd half, the Yankees win the division. He was having one of the best first-halves of any pitcher in baseball.

The combination of AJ and Javy were excruciating. Anyone who thinks AJ was good last year is an idiot. He led baseball in walks and wild pitches, and was helped out by the Yankees run support. This year, supporting AJ was like when I supported John McCain in 2008. I wanted him to win and do well, but I knew he was going to lose. You do not know what that does to a person, unless you are a Republican Yankee fan.

Javy just sucked.

Offseason: According to a column written today by the New York Post, the Yankees are not planning to go after Jayson Werth and Carl Crawford. This is because the outfield is already pretty secure, and it a strange development, General Manager Brian Cashman (I always thought Cashman was an awesome name for a GM, even if he sucks) says that paying for these two guys is not the most sensible thing to do with the Yankees money. Seriously? Since when have the Yankees ever cared about sensible spending? They are not a middle-class family that needs to cut back on the makeup the mom uses, they have money to spend! After that awful hitting playoffs, they should at least attempt to get one of these guys.

Cliff Lee will be a Yankee, there is pretty much no doubt about that. Even if Yankee fans cursed and spat at his wife, there is no way Lee will turn down the monster contract that he will be given.

FUN FACT: Lee went 4-6 with a 4.00 ERA with Texas, and was 0-2 with a 6.94 ERA in the World Series. Woo!

One last note. I think the Yankees spelt Girardi wrong when they fired Dave Eiland instead. Seriously, the Yankees were just looking for someone to blame. Girardi should have been the first one on the chopping block.

NFL Midseason Power Rankings/Awards

In reality, I have not written an “official” column in 2 weeks. The Mark Titus Interview does not really count as an article, because he wrote half of it. The reason for my absence has been because I was forced to work out my local neighborhood grocery store. Due to the fact that this column made $1.68 last month, I kind of have a lack of money. Somehow, a lack of consistent writing has left me not realizing that the NFL season is half-way over. Every year, the NFL mid-way mark kind of catches me by surprise. The season is only 4 months, but it seems a lot shorter. After thinking of obvious thoughts like the ones I just mentioned, I also start to think about the NFL Playoffs, and who are currently the best teams.

Which leads me to introduce a new gimmick to the Attic Fan blog, the NFL Mid-season Power Rankings! (Was an exclamation point needed there? I am not sure by 18 readers will be that excited about a power rankings list you could easily find on other, better blogs.)

12. Kansas City Chiefs

It is hard to really determine whether the Chiefs are an elite football team. Whenever they play Top 10 teams (Colts) or Top 15 teams (Texans) they are just out-played. It is not that the Chiefs necessarily play bad in these games, but that these teams are just better than the Chiefs are. Matt Cassel is not one of the better starting quarterbacks out there, and that is really a hamper on a team that has such an incredible rushing attack. When Jamaal Charles and Thomas Jones are your 1-2 punch to run the ball, passing is not really a necessity. But when the Chiefs will play games against teams with decent run defenses, there is a good chance they well get blown out by 20 or 30 points. Cassel just cannot throw the ball.

Also, unless the game is played in Arrowhead Stadium, the Chiefs will lose.

11. New Orleans Saints

This pains me to rank the Saints, especially because the Steelers had so much trouble scoring on a team that lost to the Cardinals and Browns. The Cardinals are the NFL equivalent of playing a AAA baseball team. Or a UFL football team. The Cardinals are ridiculously bad! But from a gambling standpoint, I kind of saw this coming:

1) Saints came out pissed off and ready to play, just like a team who just lost to the Browns at home should.

2) Playing in the Superdome on Halloween night must be like playing in Hell. There are scary things everything, it is too warm, it is dreary, and it smells like Velveeta.

3) There was no way Brees would not rally his team together. He would lose leadership respect if he didn’t at least make it a close game.

4) Who wants to play on Halloween night anyway, on the road? Most players were probably furious they couldn’t spend Halloween with there kids. Actually, if this is the case with the Steelers, it might be a long rest of season.

10. Atlanta Falcons

The Falcons are 5-2, and are one of those teams that raises their game up tremendously when they play at home. That is not a good thing, because odds are, the Falcons will probably have to play a playoff game on the road. Also, I do not find the Falcons that exciting to watch. Sure, that serves no relevancy to the rankings, but that is important to me. There is my two cents.

9. Miami Dolphins

I still think this team has a legitimate shot to win the AFC East. Now stop laughing, and here me out. The Dolphins arguably have the weakest 2nd half schedule of any team, and it really isn’t close. Plus, they are the anti-Falcons, where they are 4-0 on the road and 0-3 at home. Which kind of makes sense, considering the Miami fans are bandwagon hoppers and like soccer more than football. (That is not a racist comment! Miami is predominantly Spanish (according to Jersey Shore) and Latinos appreciate soccer more. There is nothing wrong with that, just that Miami is a crappy place to have a professional sports team. No one cares about the Marlins, the Dolphins are non-existent, and no one would care about the Heat if the world’s biggest athlete was not playing there. End rant. End of Miami fans reading my column.)

8. Philadelphia Eagles

If Vick was the starter, I probably would have them a little higher. He just brings that added energy that Kevin Kolb does not have. Kolb just looks bored, and that is not a good thing for someone who should be leading a team. But, hey, it worked for Eli Manning a few years back, so maybe Kolb will have some magic. There offense is much more explosive when Vick is in, and that is kind of important considering their defense is average at best. Also, the Phillies lost in the NLCS. Just thought I would add that in. It didn’t make sense, and the Yankees lost in the ALCS, but it just seemed right.

7. Indianapolis Colts

The Colts win last night against the Texans really impressed me, considering he (He meaning Peyton Manning. I thought it was pretty obvious since it wasn’t Jim Caldwell) made Tamme look like Dallas Clark, and Mike Hart filled in seamlessly for the overrated Joseph Addai. The Colts also have a +51 point differential, which is second only to…

6. Tennessee Titans

They did lose to the crappy Chargers this week, but the Titans just played an off game. Every team is entitled to those every once in a while (except the Steelers. Sunday was unacceptable). Chris Johnson had an off game, but he is a notoriously amazing 2nd half performer. The Titans also have a +74 point differential, which means that when the Titans are playing well, they just pound teams.

Chris Johnson stats this season:

CAR 178 YDS 721 AVG 4.1 TDS 8

That 4.1 does not look too good. If he does not have a classic CJ2K 2nd half, the Titans will not be playing in the playoffs.

5. New York Giants

The highest ranked NFC team on this “list”. They are clearly the best team in the NFC, since every other team has so many glaring faults. The Giants only faults are that Eli Manning is their quarterback and I can only name 2 players on the defense.

I have seen every Giants game this season, due to the unfortunate fact that I live in the New York area. I am forced to watch Giants blowouts and 9-0 Jets losses. This only makes it worse that I can’t name a single defensive player.

They have a really good receiving core, and Ahmad Bradshaw’s breakout season has made Brandon Jacobs expanding body look obsolete at this point. Even with a no-name defense, they still are always in games. Which is good, I guess.

4. New York Jets

Although putting up 0 points at home against an awful Packers defense worries me, the Jets have looked good in all other games. Their defense is fo’ real, as it is the only part of the gameplan Rex Ryan seems to practice every week. Mark Sanchez also plays quarterback, which also worries me. Actually it does not worry me as so much it pleases me. I hate the Jets.

3. Baltimore Ravens

Probably the best defense in football (behind team #1 of course. Oh, did I just ruin the surprise, readers who have lasted through 1400 words?), but, like most teams, the quarterback position worries me. But once again, that does not worry me so much as it pleases me. I also hate the Ravens.

Seriously, Flacco has regressed from last season, which is not good at all because 3rd year quarterbacks should be learning (by now), not to make the same asinine mistakes as they made as a rookie. Ray Rice has not had a good season at all, and just seems to be putting out the minimum every game (I know this because he kills my fantasy team every week. He is not the only thing that kills it, but you get the idea). The Ravens have many offensive holes, but their defense is good enough to combat the mediocrity.

2. New England Patriots

After starting off the season by worrying Patriots fans with a Week 2 loss, the Patriots have rebounded like Dwight Howard to get to 6-1, AKA the NFL’s best record. And you said I wouldn’t be able to work Dwight Howard into this article? Oh, you didn’t.

Bobby Brady (Get a new haircut and we’ll start calling you Tom, and not after and 8-year-old) has defied all odds and crappy haircuts to have arguably his most impressive season ever.

His leading receivers so far this season:

1) Aaron Hernandez. Rookie.

2) Wes Welker. Has no knee.

3) Brandon Tate. Fast guy who is filling in for Randy Moss. Not sure who he is.

4) Deion Branch. They acquired him two weeks ago, and he is already the number 4 receiver. May or may not be 45.

5) Danny Woodhead. Short, white guy.

See what Bobby is working with? Do you see how incredible his season is? I hate him and I think he is having an amazing season.

And that says a lot, coming from me.

1) Pittsburgh Steelers

Undisputed best team in football. Ignoring Sunday, I love them.

Seriously, how aren’t the Steelers the best? They have the best defense, and now one of the best offenses in football. That is all I have to say, since I am an extreme homer and I do not need to explain myself.

*****

NFL MVP: Tom (Bobby) Brady

NFL Offensive POY: Phillip Rivers

NFL Defensive POY: Clay Matthews

NFL Defensive ROY: Ndamukong Suh

NFL Offensive ROY: Sam Bradford

See you in a few days, Attic Fans, when I give my eulogy on the Yankees 2010 season and look forward to a possibly crazy offseason.