NFL Midseason Power Rankings/Awards

In reality, I have not written an “official” column in 2 weeks. The Mark Titus Interview does not really count as an article, because he wrote half of it. The reason for my absence has been because I was forced to work out my local neighborhood grocery store. Due to the fact that this column made $1.68 last month, I kind of have a lack of money. Somehow, a lack of consistent writing has left me not realizing that the NFL season is half-way over. Every year, the NFL mid-way mark kind of catches me by surprise. The season is only 4 months, but it seems a lot shorter. After thinking of obvious thoughts like the ones I just mentioned, I also start to think about the NFL Playoffs, and who are currently the best teams.

Which leads me to introduce a new gimmick to the Attic Fan blog, the NFL Mid-season Power Rankings! (Was an exclamation point needed there? I am not sure by 18 readers will be that excited about a power rankings list you could easily find on other, better blogs.)

12. Kansas City Chiefs

It is hard to really determine whether the Chiefs are an elite football team. Whenever they play Top 10 teams (Colts) or Top 15 teams (Texans) they are just out-played. It is not that the Chiefs necessarily play bad in these games, but that these teams are just better than the Chiefs are. Matt Cassel is not one of the better starting quarterbacks out there, and that is really a hamper on a team that has such an incredible rushing attack. When Jamaal Charles and Thomas Jones are your 1-2 punch to run the ball, passing is not really a necessity. But when the Chiefs will play games against teams with decent run defenses, there is a good chance they well get blown out by 20 or 30 points. Cassel just cannot throw the ball.

Also, unless the game is played in Arrowhead Stadium, the Chiefs will lose.

11. New Orleans Saints

This pains me to rank the Saints, especially because the Steelers had so much trouble scoring on a team that lost to the Cardinals and Browns. The Cardinals are the NFL equivalent of playing a AAA baseball team. Or a UFL football team. The Cardinals are ridiculously bad! But from a gambling standpoint, I kind of saw this coming:

1) Saints came out pissed off and ready to play, just like a team who just lost to the Browns at home should.

2) Playing in the Superdome on Halloween night must be like playing in Hell. There are scary things everything, it is too warm, it is dreary, and it smells like Velveeta.

3) There was no way Brees would not rally his team together. He would lose leadership respect if he didn’t at least make it a close game.

4) Who wants to play on Halloween night anyway, on the road? Most players were probably furious they couldn’t spend Halloween with there kids. Actually, if this is the case with the Steelers, it might be a long rest of season.

10. Atlanta Falcons

The Falcons are 5-2, and are one of those teams that raises their game up tremendously when they play at home. That is not a good thing, because odds are, the Falcons will probably have to play a playoff game on the road. Also, I do not find the Falcons that exciting to watch. Sure, that serves no relevancy to the rankings, but that is important to me. There is my two cents.

9. Miami Dolphins

I still think this team has a legitimate shot to win the AFC East. Now stop laughing, and here me out. The Dolphins arguably have the weakest 2nd half schedule of any team, and it really isn’t close. Plus, they are the anti-Falcons, where they are 4-0 on the road and 0-3 at home. Which kind of makes sense, considering the Miami fans are bandwagon hoppers and like soccer more than football. (That is not a racist comment! Miami is predominantly Spanish (according to Jersey Shore) and Latinos appreciate soccer more. There is nothing wrong with that, just that Miami is a crappy place to have a professional sports team. No one cares about the Marlins, the Dolphins are non-existent, and no one would care about the Heat if the world’s biggest athlete was not playing there. End rant. End of Miami fans reading my column.)

8. Philadelphia Eagles

If Vick was the starter, I probably would have them a little higher. He just brings that added energy that Kevin Kolb does not have. Kolb just looks bored, and that is not a good thing for someone who should be leading a team. But, hey, it worked for Eli Manning a few years back, so maybe Kolb will have some magic. There offense is much more explosive when Vick is in, and that is kind of important considering their defense is average at best. Also, the Phillies lost in the NLCS. Just thought I would add that in. It didn’t make sense, and the Yankees lost in the ALCS, but it just seemed right.

7. Indianapolis Colts

The Colts win last night against the Texans really impressed me, considering he (He meaning Peyton Manning. I thought it was pretty obvious since it wasn’t Jim Caldwell) made Tamme look like Dallas Clark, and Mike Hart filled in seamlessly for the overrated Joseph Addai. The Colts also have a +51 point differential, which is second only to…

6. Tennessee Titans

They did lose to the crappy Chargers this week, but the Titans just played an off game. Every team is entitled to those every once in a while (except the Steelers. Sunday was unacceptable). Chris Johnson had an off game, but he is a notoriously amazing 2nd half performer. The Titans also have a +74 point differential, which means that when the Titans are playing well, they just pound teams.

Chris Johnson stats this season:

CAR 178 YDS 721 AVG 4.1 TDS 8

That 4.1 does not look too good. If he does not have a classic CJ2K 2nd half, the Titans will not be playing in the playoffs.

5. New York Giants

The highest ranked NFC team on this “list”. They are clearly the best team in the NFC, since every other team has so many glaring faults. The Giants only faults are that Eli Manning is their quarterback and I can only name 2 players on the defense.

I have seen every Giants game this season, due to the unfortunate fact that I live in the New York area. I am forced to watch Giants blowouts and 9-0 Jets losses. This only makes it worse that I can’t name a single defensive player.

They have a really good receiving core, and Ahmad Bradshaw’s breakout season has made Brandon Jacobs expanding body look obsolete at this point. Even with a no-name defense, they still are always in games. Which is good, I guess.

4. New York Jets

Although putting up 0 points at home against an awful Packers defense worries me, the Jets have looked good in all other games. Their defense is fo’ real, as it is the only part of the gameplan Rex Ryan seems to practice every week. Mark Sanchez also plays quarterback, which also worries me. Actually it does not worry me as so much it pleases me. I hate the Jets.

3. Baltimore Ravens

Probably the best defense in football (behind team #1 of course. Oh, did I just ruin the surprise, readers who have lasted through 1400 words?), but, like most teams, the quarterback position worries me. But once again, that does not worry me so much as it pleases me. I also hate the Ravens.

Seriously, Flacco has regressed from last season, which is not good at all because 3rd year quarterbacks should be learning (by now), not to make the same asinine mistakes as they made as a rookie. Ray Rice has not had a good season at all, and just seems to be putting out the minimum every game (I know this because he kills my fantasy team every week. He is not the only thing that kills it, but you get the idea). The Ravens have many offensive holes, but their defense is good enough to combat the mediocrity.

2. New England Patriots

After starting off the season by worrying Patriots fans with a Week 2 loss, the Patriots have rebounded like Dwight Howard to get to 6-1, AKA the NFL’s best record. And you said I wouldn’t be able to work Dwight Howard into this article? Oh, you didn’t.

Bobby Brady (Get a new haircut and we’ll start calling you Tom, and not after and 8-year-old) has defied all odds and crappy haircuts to have arguably his most impressive season ever.

His leading receivers so far this season:

1) Aaron Hernandez. Rookie.

2) Wes Welker. Has no knee.

3) Brandon Tate. Fast guy who is filling in for Randy Moss. Not sure who he is.

4) Deion Branch. They acquired him two weeks ago, and he is already the number 4 receiver. May or may not be 45.

5) Danny Woodhead. Short, white guy.

See what Bobby is working with? Do you see how incredible his season is? I hate him and I think he is having an amazing season.

And that says a lot, coming from me.

1) Pittsburgh Steelers

Undisputed best team in football. Ignoring Sunday, I love them.

Seriously, how aren’t the Steelers the best? They have the best defense, and now one of the best offenses in football. That is all I have to say, since I am an extreme homer and I do not need to explain myself.

*****

NFL MVP: Tom (Bobby) Brady

NFL Offensive POY: Phillip Rivers

NFL Defensive POY: Clay Matthews

NFL Defensive ROY: Ndamukong Suh

NFL Offensive ROY: Sam Bradford

See you in a few days, Attic Fans, when I give my eulogy on the Yankees 2010 season and look forward to a possibly crazy offseason.